Do It Anyway + Poem by Mother Teresa

I often feel frozen and discouraged about many things I do or attempt to do because I reason with myself and I end up "logically" finding no point to the action in the end. I talk to myself and convince myself that it won't matter, people won't care, my work will be sabatoged or un-important. I care about what other people think, more than I want to admit to myself.

Despite my insatiable desire to share the knowlege and things I love with others I find myself withholding things. My propensity to be discouraged is one reason I don't blog very much.

But the angel on my shoulder sometimes whispers that there are probably people out there just like me who love quirky things, who love the imperfect. Who would embrace the same things that I have found to be wonderful. Even if it seems different, odd, strange, hard to find, hard to do etc.

Do I have anything important to say?

Do people even care?

I am very wierd. I like wierd things. I like comedy and I laugh when other people are crying and cry when other people are laughing.

It's true.

LOL. See, I'm laughing right now...

What drives you? What motivates you but you push it aside or doubt it because of fear?

One of the things that drives me is my love of knowlege and reading.

I have a love/hate relationship with books. Right now I have several boxes in storage just because I was mad at looking at their covers all the time. It felt like they mocked me. You see, certain people have given me a really hard time for having a large book collection. And I listened to them.

I love to read. It's an absolute obsession of mine. But I'm not one of those people that is obsessed with Jane Austin and twilight, crouching in a corner of a library dreaming of my future husband. I've seen a lot of those types.

Scary.

But now I am sounding judgemental...

Not that you are bad if you like Jane Austin, of course!

I like her work.

And.. I read the twilight series, too. Eeek.

And I liked it... double eek!

To the point. I am more of a 'dabble in literature, obsess about how-to-books' type. I am even more of a wierdo than the slurpy Jane Austin book worms huddled in the library.

I like Jane Austin AND cabinet makeing AND weight-lifting for dummies AND Anatomy and Physiology AND square foot gardening AND herbs for life AND Charlotte Bronte AND how to tile your own floor, the guide.... etc.

I have over three hundred books on every subject you can imagine. Including LOTS of cookbooks. If I had more money and a bigger house I would have TONS more books, I'm sure of that. Some books I am not even sure why I have them but then I think about it and there is some story behind it so I keep it.

I don't even have to read the whole book to love it and keep it. I love skimming books and I feel impatient. I need to get on to what is good in the next book! Ahh!!

My favorite teacher in High School, Ms. Robinson, gave me a huge box of brand new books in every subject imaginable from an introduction to ethics to poems by Rumi to My Antonia (my favorite book btw). And every English teacher I've ever had has found a way to give me tons of books.

I have way too many from Amazon. (I blame my boring and intense job combined with darn "one-click-shopping!). Plus there is some amazing books that you can't get anywhere else! 

And I have too many from The Book Garden, a used book store down the street from my house.

So yes. Books and knowlege drive me. And frusterate me. I can never make myself master any one thing. I am crazy about the beauty in every subject. And that can be frusterating at times. Especially when you are trying to hone in on what to make your career!

I guess if there were one subject I obsessed about the most it would be Cooking.

I like cooking. I like it A LOT.

In an attempt to master one thing I have cooked up a storm. I'm even thinking about becoming a professional Chef.

Crisp white chef coat. Pretty hair. Job you love. Good pay. Very little stress. Lots of autonomy, creativity and variety. People appreciate you. The freshest local ingredients...

That's the dream, right? These are the traits anyone would want in a job.

I dream of a happy life like that...

But I fear it is more like this in the end...

I have lots of fears in persuing my passions. My fear is that if I become a Chef I will have lots of mess- ups, do-over's, and be in a frantic fast paced environment. Hands full of burns and cuts and scars from ovens and kitchen tools. People telling me that I'm crazy or that my food is awful. And in the beginning I'm sure there would be a lower wadge than I ever thought possible for such hard work and careful attention to detial and art and taste.

 And my dreadful office job will seem like a wonderful dream I was once floating in!

My worst fear is that I will be an obese chef...

...who lives with 45 cats and kittens...

Cute Kitty! I love you...

But maybe with creatures like this, that scenareo wouldn't be so bad!?

My Mom used to tell me, "Think about the very worst scenero in the situation you are in now or fear, and now be honest with yourself, is that really that bad?"

I have so many little fears when it comes to change and creating things. When cooking, I fear that I spend too much money. I spend too much time. I waste the opportunity to do other things. I neglect other responsibilities.With little to no apparent returns. And it doesn't help that people can devour your creations and judge them in a fraction of the time and energy it to to create them.

But I remember that being a critic is for lazy people.

It takes a lot more effort to create and be an advocate and stay positive and look for the good.

Remember that cute Disney Movie, Ratatouille? If you havn't seen it, I highly suggest it. Even for adults.

If you have watched it, Do you remember Remi, the "lil' chef" that loved to cook and alter recipes?

And, do you remember that awful critic, Anton?

Remember how awful Anton was in his initial reviews?

Despite his sour nature at the beginning of the movie, Anton had some

 really wise words to say in the end...

"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the *new*. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new: an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, "Anyone can cook." But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist *can* come from *anywhere*. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more."

To be creative and to present your beloved work to others is a risk. That is for sure. I know the risk. I know it and I still long for it. I long to be the creator, not a critic.

I love to share. Not just food. Anything and everything I love!

So I take that risk all the time...
That's why I blog. Not enough. But I do. I want to blog about everything I love.
Regardless of what anybody else thinks. I just want to create. I NEED to create.


I hold on to the hope that there would be beautiful moments folded into the chaos that make eveything worth it.

Moments like this....

Can you imagine the hushed voices of delighted people?

Excited to see/taste/feel/participate in what you create!?

And many times you have to be your own advocate, your own best friend. If I eat healthy meals three times a day it's a triumph! I have to remember that simple things can be a win for me.

Like me, you may be affraid to do something, and you create mental lists of reasons to give up. But for those things that speak to your soul and incite the desire to keep going, then, keep going.

If something makes you feel important, happy and more complete. Or if it feels right but you feel completely alone in doing it-- do it anyway. Support will come. Things will happen. Have faith.  

So whatever your fear is...

Do It Anyway

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Poem By Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa

There is a grand design of beauty and goodness and truth in our universe.

And it includes YOU.

It often helps me to remember that this universe is infinate in scope. And there is a grand design of goodness and beauty and truth that is pushing forward. There is nothing noble in repressing your true self. Be yourself and you will attract what actually makes you happy!

Truth will prevail.

 But you can be a part of it.

 It's a choice you make each day.

But regardless of what you do, you are sacred. You are unique. You are the only you in this gigantic universe!  

Do what you know is right, even if nobody is watching. Do it even if it demands a difficult sacrifise. Do it even if it hurts. Do it even if someone else can do it better than you. Do it because it feels right in your soul and mind.

Do It Anyway!

Your blogger buddy,

~Aimee