I often feel frozen and discouraged about many things I do or attempt to do because I reason with myself and I end up "logically" finding no point to the action in the end. I talk to myself and convince myself that it won't matter, people won't care, my work will be sabatoged or un-important. I care about what other people think, more than I want to admit to myself.
But the angel on my shoulder sometimes whispers that there are probably people out there just like me who love quirky things, who love the imperfect. Who would embrace the same things that I have found to be wonderful. Even if it seems different, odd, strange, hard to find, hard to do etc.
Do I have anything important to say?
Do people even care?
I am very wierd. I like wierd things. I like comedy and I laugh when other people are crying and cry when other people are laughing.
LOL. See, I'm laughing right now...
What drives you? What motivates you but you push it aside or doubt it because of fear?
One of the things that drives me is my love of knowlege and reading.
I have a love/hate relationship with books. Right now I have several boxes in storage just because I was mad at looking at their covers all the time. It felt like they mocked me. You see, certain people have given me a really hard time for having a large book collection. And I listened to them.
But now I am sounding judgemental...
Not that you are bad if you like Jane Austin, of course!
I like her work.
And.. I read the twilight series, too. Eeek.
And I liked it... double eek!
To the point. I am more of a 'dabble in literature, obsess about how-to-books' type. I am even more of a wierdo than the slurpy Jane Austin book worms huddled in the library.
I like Jane Austin AND cabinet makeing AND weight-lifting for dummies AND Anatomy and Physiology AND square foot gardening AND herbs for life AND Charlotte Bronte AND how to tile your own floor, the guide.... etc.
I have over three hundred books on every subject you can imagine. Including LOTS of cookbooks. If I had more money and a bigger house I would have TONS more books, I'm sure of that. Some books I am not even sure why I have them but then I think about it and there is some story behind it so I keep it.
I don't even have to read the whole book to love it and keep it. I love skimming books and I feel impatient. I need to get on to what is good in the next book! Ahh!!
I like cooking. I like it A LOT.
In an attempt to master one thing I have cooked up a storm. I'm even thinking about becoming a professional Chef.
...who lives with 45 cats and kittens...
Cute Kitty! I love you...
My Mom used to tell me, "Think about the very worst scenero in the situation you are in now or fear, and now be honest with yourself, is that really that bad?"
I have so many little fears when it comes to change and creating things. When cooking, I fear that I spend too much money. I spend too much time. I waste the opportunity to do other things. I neglect other responsibilities.With little to no apparent returns. And it doesn't help that people can devour your creations and judge them in a fraction of the time and energy it to to create them.
But I remember that being a critic is for lazy people.
It takes a lot more effort to create and be an advocate and stay positive and look for the good.
Remember that cute Disney Movie, Ratatouille? If you havn't seen it, I highly suggest it. Even for adults.
If you have watched it, Do you remember Remi, the "lil' chef" that loved to cook and alter recipes?
And, do you remember that awful critic, Anton?
Remember how awful Anton was in his initial reviews?
Despite his sour nature at the beginning of the movie, Anton had some
really wise words to say in the end...
"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the *new*. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new: an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, "Anyone can cook." But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist *can* come from *anywhere*. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more."
I love to share. Not just food. Anything and everything I love!
So I take that risk all the time...
That's why I blog. Not enough. But I do. I want to blog about everything I love.
Regardless of what anybody else thinks. I just want to create. I NEED to create.
Like me, you may be affraid to do something, and you create mental lists of reasons to give up. But for those things that speak to your soul and incite the desire to keep going, then, keep going.
If something makes you feel important, happy and more complete. Or if it feels right but you feel completely alone in doing it-- do it anyway. Support will come. Things will happen. Have faith.
So whatever your fear is...
Do It Anyway
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
Poem By Mother Teresa
There is a grand design of beauty and goodness and truth in our universe.
And it includes YOU.
It often helps me to remember that this universe is infinate in scope. And there is a grand design of goodness and beauty and truth that is pushing forward. There is nothing noble in repressing your true self. Be yourself and you will attract what actually makes you happy!
Truth will prevail.
But you can be a part of it.
It's a choice you make each day.
But regardless of what you do, you are sacred. You are unique. You are the only you in this gigantic universe!
Do what you know is right, even if nobody is watching. Do it even if it demands a difficult sacrifise. Do it even if it hurts. Do it even if someone else can do it better than you. Do it because it feels right in your soul and mind.
Do It Anyway!
Your blogger buddy,